Sometimes two is a lonelier number

Buddy and I in the backyard in July 2019

It’s difficult to explain

but I’ll try.

I don’t live alone. I live with both of my best friends: the HunksterHubster and our faithful sidekick, Buddy.

Folks debate getting a dog. I don’t blame them. It’s a commitment.

What you may not have considered, however, dogs will adore and worship you without asking for anything in return.

Getting a puppy is an investment. I’m not merely reminding you that there are vaccinations (shots, deworming, rabbis) a few times when they’re a puppy.

Unlike collustrom (sp? The first breast milk a new mother has), you should find out when or if they’ve had their first shots when considering a puppy. It will denote a reputable breeder.

Dramatic buddy showing his personality by this expression that says: “Not another pic, MA!”

As a Caregiver, having a dog (or cat) is having companionship.

Our best buddy, is companion to both of us, certainly. Yet he’s become so much more.

Isolation enfolds the HH and I to home. The only time we get out, mostly, is to medical appointments, doctor’s visits, episodes, procedures, specialists, surgeons, tests.

The only one of our four children to visit is the HH daughter.

Even her HH (my way of saying “hubby”) has long stretches between visits.

Maybe that’s where the narrative lets down women.

The “system” caters to mother and child, as a dramatic adjustment from the princess to “Mom”. Dad is merely the provider and the fun guy who bathes them before bedtime story duty by mom is the norm.

From the moment of birth, society says: the father is the provider (hunts, kills to eat, protects the family) and Mom births or nurtures and teaches her offspring.

Shouldn’t the narrative change?

I appreciate that there is now paternity leave for dads. In fact, I remember running across a story several years ago whereby GOOGLE (need Layla still for fact checking) was ahead of the pack when it came to paternity leave for men employees: (MEANING: in North America it is paid leave after the birth of his child).

Typically, when a baby is born, Mom is on maternity (MEANING: paid leave in employment up to one year) that allows her to remain at home, refraining from work.

Mother or Mom is nurturer.

Dad or Father is the provider.

Both are protectors.

Today, kids seem to have it all mixed up. It is more than likely all the mixed signals Millennials have had pounded into their psyche. Dad makes the big bucks and Mom’s value reduced to emergencies only (because Dad would F-R-E-A-K out!

Mom’s a soft landing where Dad’s a kick in the butt.

Have we changed the narrative?

I don’t think so.

What I do know, from experience, is kids loose empathy without the nurturing of a Mom.

Under the guidance of Dad, academic achievement, sportsmanship, and financial stability are the measuring sticks.

The balance to the equation is how Mom dominates your words!

Sure, there is articulation (proper pronunciation), conduct (moral compass, humanities, manners, respecting elders) and grooming Mom guides, sometimes overrides her kids if she thinks it could cause her offspring harm (that destroys reputation or others’ perception).

Dad is considered the protector of the home.

Has that narrative changed at all?

Combine that with provider, Mom doesn’t stand a chance. Not surprisingly, I can only imagine, more and more kids are opting to live with dad after a separation/divorce.

It’s pretty formidable to kids who’s parents are divorcing.

Life as they know it is gone.

What do they do?

Decide to be where they’ll feel safer and not plunge to poverty, they’ll choose that route.

Why not? The path of the least resistance.

Combine the survival instincts from BOTH grandparents – whom I dub “the war era” generation: babies born during World War(s) I or II + their Yuppy parents – who survived and thrived in the 1980s.

That zest for life spilt over the glass always full came from their genetic donors. A symphony of sperm and egg dancing to create a child.

The importance of education was equally promoted by mother and father, with grandparent cheerleaders on standby.

But has the narrative changed?

I read about 15 years ago that more girls are attending post secondary universities, attaining more scholarships, than boys.

You’d think that would change the narrative?

Hardly relevant when a single digit percentage of the world’s corporations heads are men.

Men leaders in business is the undertone.

Underscore by how many women are in the C-suite (MEANING: slang for the executive floor of any company) including owner, founder, chief executive, president, operations are home to men.

Why isn’t the narrative changing?

HECK, HIRE MOI!

I’ve been a token woman before.

I’ve been a woman who has been awarded before.

I’ve been a woman who has led a team.

I’ve been a woman who has formed her own team.

I’ve been a woman who can envision problems before they are one.

I’ve been a woman who can read the numbers, distinguishing between profitable revenue and reducing costs (i.e. waste).

I’ve been a woman who’s been able to tell stories. Initially, as a Toastmaster, a business leader to a classroom of young, impressionable teens.

What am I not?

Employed.

Why not?

Put me in the top seat and it could help us both change the narrative.

Why wouldn’t it?

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